Elba, for those of you not in the know, is a small island off the cost of Tuscany. It's claim to fame is being the first isle of exile for non other than Napoleon Bonaparte in 1814. However, Bonaparte escaped after only 300 days. He was later re-captured and permanently exiled to the island of St. Helena in the south Atlantic. However, during his stay in Elba, Napoleon enacted several successful social and political reforms, much to the delight of the locals. Go figure.
Haters gonna hate.
Anyways, my sojourn on Elba was only 3 days and I had zero effect on municipal law, that I know of. But I did run a half marathon. More importantly, I rented a scooter and drove around the island. Why is this more important? Let me explain.
I have a habit of, while on vacation, forcing myself to do things that I justify as character building. Mostly, I force myself to do things so that I am no longer afraid of them. About 5 years ago, I got into a car accident while on vacation in the US. I had my mothers car, her brand new car she would like me to tell you, and I was driving in an unfamiliar location in the rain. Well, I accidentally ran a red light at the bottom of a hill and I hit another car. It wasn't the worst car crash and no one was hurt, but it imprinted on me a sense of fear that I didn't like. While I would have liked to "get right back on the horse" as they say, I was FORBIDDEN from driving my parents cars. Ever.again. This moratorium was lifted last summer when my Dad said, "Sure, drive my convertible". And I did. And I didn't crash it. And it was only after this event that my mother permitted me to drive her car again. Thanks for having faith in me mother!
Do you see that look of fear in her eyes? I'm sure I just asked to borrow her car.
Moving on....when I went to Thailand, I rented a scooter and drove around one of the southern islands. Let me just clarify that this was the first time I had EVER driven a scooter and, in Thailand, they drive on the left side of the road, so it was a trial-by-fire kind of moment. But I did it. So help me God I did it and I did not crash. I actually got to see some cool waterfalls up in the mountains. But did I enjoy it? This riding around? No. It was a test of my mental fortitude and sheer will to suppress my every impulse that screamed "GET.OF.THIS.VEHICLE.OF.DEATH!". Still, I reasoned that there were hundreds of drunk tourists who careened around the island on scooters at night and (most) of them escaped injury so, therefore, I should be able to avoid vehicular manslaughter in my very sober, very paranoid, very focused state. And I was right. Though it is, to date, one of the most stressful moments I have ever had on a vacation.
Thai nature. Ohhhhh, ahhhhh.
Jump ahead to Elba and I decide to rent a scooter again so as to continue the tradition of raising my cortisol levels while on vacation. Part of my desire to keep driving is that I don't want to totally loose the skill and be one of those people who absolutely CAN'T DRIVE. I want to maintain, in some small way, a sense of autonomy when it comes to transportation. You would think then that I would rent a car, but a scooter is good enough for me right now.
Just like in Thailand, there was this sense of "Here we go I'm going to die". It took me a solid 5 minutes to figure out how to turn on the scooter...AFTER I had been shown, minutes earlier, exactly how to do so. When I asked for more help, the rental attendant looked at me as if to say "Is this the best life choice you could be making right now?" It was a look that does not imbue one with a sense of self-confidence. STILL I had already paid and I am not going to forfeit money due to my delicate sensibilities. FORWARD WE GO.
Is this the part where we start having fun?
So imagine me, riding this scooter at EXACTLY THE SPEED LIMIT, thank you very much, with no sunglasses, squinting in the wind. I had concluded that sunglasses would impede my vision, so I forced my eyes to focus without UV protection. This caused my mascara to run, so, basically, it looked like I was crying, this terrified, sobbing blonde girl riding a scooter very slowly around a nearly deserted island, her knuckles white from gripping the handle bars so tightly. I am sure I have never looked so glamorous or daring.
#maybeshe'sbornwithit
However, with time, or maybe just exhaustion (being extremely nervous and tense is very tiring) I relaxed and re-learned one of the most important rules of scootering: people can go around you. Stay to the side, in your own lane, and let those speed-demons rule the rode. This is the same principle I apply to running marathons. Go your own pace, run your own race. Clearly I'm not a competitive runner, or scooter driver for that matter. "GO AROUND ME" I kept thinking in my head as tiny smart cars tailgated me. Eventually they did, and eventually I got to my destination. I also eventually acquiesced and wore sunglasses, finding them to be more helpful than distracting while riding in the sun. Go figure.
So moral of the story: you can always drink afterwards to quell your night terrors after having forced yourself to do something you hate.
ALSO ALSO ALSO good news of the best kind! My nephew has been found to have NO Leukemia cells in his spinal fluid, so go Luke! Remember we are raising money for Alex's Lemonade Stand, a charity that funds children's cancer research. Go to http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/runcarlarunproject/TeamBabyLuke-2 to donate. You can also follow me on Instagram at @runcarlarunproject. TEAM BABY LUKE ALL THE WAY!
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