Getting ready, ready, ready to run

I can't believe the race day is almost here! What?! How did that happen. As I write this it is less than 36 hours away. That is...nuts. Also, no more cartoons on this blog. I'm tired, TIRED I SAY! I don't have time to draw with a mouse. But I can easily google, cut, and paste you a hilarious mouse.

Now that I am an experienced runner (or as I like to think of myself, an enthusastic jogger) I have learned several things. On Sunday, in my little running belt (it's a fanny pack but who wants to say that? Let's call it a running belt so I can feel cool) I will have some wonderful little items to help keep me going.

1) Gu. What is Gu you ask? It's this the gelatinized paste/syrup mixture that is supposed to be filled with a burst of vitamins and proteins to help keep your electrolytes and mineral count high. Though I am not it's biggest fan, it gets the job done. One thing I learned while running is you have to eat if you are going to be moving for more than an hour. I tried chewing carrots and apples to keep me going, but that's...super lame. The Gu goes down nice and smooth. Did I mention it comes in chocolate and mixed berry flavor? High performance power, now in Caffè and Banana Strawberry!

2) Glide. Do you know what chaffing is? It is the Devil and you must avoid it! How, you ask? With GLIDE! It looks and feels like you are putting deodorant all over your body, but it's a kind of vasaline-ish paste that helps prevent excess rubbing. Marathon running is basically doing the same three or four moves over and over again for hours at a time. After a while, even the friction caused by your arm rubbing against your T-shirt can give you a rug burn. Now, I know I have been someone who has talked a lot about their boobs in this blog (DEAL WITH IT!) but again, this is another example of how they make themselves a nuisance to me in every possible faction of my life. Sufficit to say, a tightly fit sports bra is not your friend. GLIDE EVERYWHERE! A big thank you to my mother who brought me a mini sized Glide for Women. How is this different than my gender-neutral large sized glide? For one thing, it's pink and petite, like all things feminine must be, thank you very much, which is why I am concerned that my sweaty, clumsy giant Scandinavian hands won't know what to do with this mini tube during the race. I'm sure in my cardio-induced trance I will mistake it for lip balm, or worse, the Gu and start eating it. I may be a lady, but I don't think anyone is going to use the words "pink" or "petite" to describe me. Let's just go with "flushed" and "sturdy" and, should I start applying it my face, "shiny".

3) Band-aids. Sometimes you run 15 miles and your feet are just sore. Sometimes you run 5 miles and all your toes simultaneously get rubbed the wrong way and fall off. Why? I don't know. I really haven't had a problem with shoe fit or, really, any kind of foot related problem during my training but I have friends who have lost toenails while running a marathon, so I'm just gonna take a few band-aids to be safe. I am the kind of person who doesn't notice pain until it gets REALLY bad, so there is a freak chance I could get to the finish line and realize that that pinch I had been feeling in my shoe for the last 3 hours was a scorpion eating my big toe. IT COULD HAPPEN!

4) Advil. At the end of the race, you better believe I am gonna eat me some pain killers. DRUGS ARE THE WAY KIDS. I have also been told to lie down and prop my feet up and let the blood drain back into the rest of my body after having been pummeled down into my lower extremities for the past 4 hours. So that will be me, the girl lying next to the Colosseum, legs propped up on a broken column, eating Advil like M&Ms. You know, like Usain Bolt does after every race. Duh.

5) My cell phone. I am only taking my phone so I can call my mother and let her know when I get near the finish line. I want a heroic photo of my epic finish! It won't be glamorous, but it will be proof that I did it. It will also be a reminder, months from now, when I am eating pizza at my desk while watching the Daily Show, that I have not run a single step since the end of the Marathon. And that will make me wonderfully happy.

And that's pretty much it. I "carbo-loaded" today, as they say, and I feel...starchy. I haven't eaten a lot of carbs in the last few weeks so this onslaught is, what's the word I'm looking for...bloating. I hope it translates into serious energy come Sunday.

Also WE HAVE RAISED $1227.83 FOR THE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION! Vic.Tor.Y. Thank you THANK YOU everyone who has donated. And guess what, YOU CAN STILL DONATE HERE!

I have a problem with cats. SOMEONE HELP ME! Just joking. I'm awesome.I embrace my insanity, and so should you.

Celiac Disease

So, recently a good friend of mine began experiencing Celiac Disease-type symptoms. While it is not officially confirmed that she in fact has Celiac Disease (she is awaiting the test results) this is another example of a female who may have developed a chronic autoimmune disease in her early 20s. This also brings my grand total of close Friends With Autoimmune Diseases (it’s like the Justice League only they fight off their own attacking bodily defense systems instead of Lex Luthor or Dr. Octopus or…. Rick Santorum) to 4.

 

FOUR people, who are all young women in their 20s, developed chronic conditions without warning. It’s like after 9/11 when people began receiving those packages filled with white powder and everyone thought, “ANTHRAX! AHHHHHHHHHHH!” even though it was usually just flour. But then…sometimes it WAS anthrax. Now, every possible flu-related symptom makes me nervous, like that sore throat isn’t a bacteria build-up, it’s my body eating its own vocal chords. BWWAHAHAHAHA! But I digress…. (Autoimmune diseases are serious and my throat is not eating itself).

CELIAC DISEASE! What is it? Who gets it? What are the symptoms? How do you fight it? All these facts and MORE will now be reveled to you.

1) What is Celiac Disease? Celiac disease is a lifelong inherited autoimmune condition affecting children and adults. When people with CD eat foods that contain gluten, it creates an immune-mediated toxic reaction that causes damage to the small intestine and does not allow food to be properly absorbed. Even small amounts of gluten in foods can affect those with CD and cause health problems. Damage can occur to the small bowel even when there are no symptoms present.

2) What is Gluten? Gluten is the common name for the proteins in specific grains that are harmful to persons with celiac disease. These proteins are found in ALL forms of wheat (including durum, semolina, spelt, kamut, einkorn and faro) and related grains rye, barley and triticale and MUST be eliminated.

Imagine saying goodbye forever to bread. Pancakes, waffles, pasta, pizza, even things you wouldn’t think have gluten in them like pickles, blue cheese, soy sauce, and some kinds of chocolate. SOME KINDS OF CHOCOLATE!?!?! That one…that one hurts.

3) What are the symptoms? Oh, these symptoms are loads of fun ‘yall. There’s bloating, gas, abdominal pain, diarrhea, anemia, bone or joint pain, irritability, fatigue, infertility, canker sores, tooth discoloration and unexplained weight loss or weight gain. To me, some of these symptoms seem kind of vague and, each one on its own, or even some combined, could be caused by a plethora of other wonderful ailments, such as the flu, herpes, eating McDonalds or a hangover. I can guarantee you that if you ask any college student, they will tell you they experience one of these symptoms on a weekly basis (I work with them, I know). Doctors urge you NOT to self-diagnose and get specific blood tests to determine if you have CD or not. On a side note, who invented WebMD? Talk about a way to freak yourself out. 

PROGRAMING NOTE: Drawing comics is mentally and physically challenging for me. I am only so capable people. So, the remainder of my FABULOUS accompanying pictures will be internet wrought. I know, I know, laziness.

But I guess it’s better than that time I was at camp and whenever a girl would get a fever or nauseous the MALE on-staff doctor would immediately ask, “Are you pregnant?” followed by “Are you suuuuuuuuuure?” Gee, I didn’t know you could get a medical license from watching the 16 And Pregnant All Day Marathon (curse you MTV!) Thanks Doctor Shamesyoualot. How fortunate my roommate was to have you there to insinuate she was a silly, unknowing slut and not someone suffering from a head cold.

4) Who gets CD? 1 out of 133 people have CD and 97% of them go undiagnosed. 97%! Furthermore, more people have CD than those with Crohn’s Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease COMBINED! Given the commonality of some of the symptoms, and depending on how severe and frequent they are, some people just experience mild discomfort after they eat a bowl of pasta. But, it’s more than just mild discomfort and the need to reach for the TUMS…..

5) What does CD do to your body? When people with CD eat gluten, the villi (tiny hair-like projections in the small intestine that absorb nutrients from food) are damaged. Damaged villi do not effectively absorb basic nutrients – proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals and, in some cases, water and bile salts. If CD is left untreated, damage to the small bowel can be chronic and life threatening, causing an increased risk of associated disorders – both nutritional and immune related.

Left untreated CD can also turn into Dermatitis Herpetiformis, the skin manifestation of CD. DH is characterized by blistering, intensely itchy skin. The rash has a symmetrical distribution and is most frequently found on the face, elbows, knees and buttocks.  What gets me is that it’s symmetrical. Why symmetrical? It’s like some evil gypsy curse.

Down Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Williams Syndrome are also linked to CD. Talk about the Family Tree from hell.

6) What are the treatments? So, good news is, while there is no cure there is a non-medication related solution to managing CD. The only treatment is the lifelong adherence to the gluten-free diet. When gluten is removed from the diet, the small intestine will start to heal and overall health improves.

Adapting to the gluten-free diet requires some lifestyle changes. It is essential to read labels which are often imprecise, and to learn how to identify ingredients that may contain hidden gluten. Even small amounts of ingested gluten can affect those with CD and cause health problems.

So, while there is a lot of research you have to do, and a strict vigilance you must maintain to not eat foods with gluten (it’s even in beer…AND Root Beer!) at least you normally don’t have to start a cycle of pills. But… still, how do you watch Top Chef after being diagnosed with CD and not want to throw your gluten-free beer at Padma Lakshmi’s head.

Also….WE REACHED OUR GOAL! $1000 DOLLARS HAS BEEN RAISED FOR THE INTERNATIONAL MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FEDERATIONS! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who donated. And, no worries, my charity will still take your money so please, to all of you who haven’t yet donated GO HERE TO DO SO!

Next up…the actual marathon! The running will begin at 9am at the Coliseum on March 18. So, yeah…I said I was gonna run that thing…so...no turning back now, right? (p.s. my mother is coming to watch me run and she will literally kick my butt if I so much as emit a whiny sigh about it, so yeah, I’m running 26 miles next Sunday).